Unspeakable Desire
by Enelya Cuthlion
Summary: SiriusRemus Slash Fic. Going to be humour yet still have a storyline! I hope. Finer details are still getting worked out but probably best that it's posted so that I feel obliged to finish. Set in Marauders 6th Year, from Remus' point of view.
1. Chapter One: Of Table Legs and Tempers

_Disclaimer: _The characters mentioned in this story are not mine, they belong to J.K Rowling, AKA: The Green Monkey. However the storyline is mine, as far as I know, if I have plagiarised please tell me and I will most definitely make sure that you are killed in a similar way to Rasputin, as I am studying the Russian Revolution. Soooo cool. If you don't know how he died, look it up. It's great. Thanks and enjoy. Oh, and please excuse any monkey references. I have a strange obsession and usually can't help it. Don't worry, it's being looking into. Cheers.

_Chapter One: Of Table Legs and Tempers_

Remus Lupin was supposed to be studying. He was supposed to be researching the properties of a water dwelling Phinknit. He was supposed to be taking notes from the large volume of _Small Hazardous Pests, The Official Guide_. He was not, however, supposed to have his eyes transfixed on a certain dark haired, grey eyed, Gryffindor youth, who was at this very moment deeply engrossed in a staring competition with a table leg in a rather hilarious attempt to get out of studying.

"Sirius, I think that you might find…"

"Silence, Moony!" Sirius riposted, raising a finger to silence Remus while keeping his eyes fixed on his opponent. "You'll make me lose my concentration. The bastard's beating me 2-0."

"Might I point out an obvious flaw in your ingenious scheming, Padfoot?"

"You may," replied Sirius, after few moments of deep pondering or intense table-leg-glaring, Remus couldn't quite decide which. "But only because you said I was ingenious."

Remus rolled his eyes, but continued anyway. He would get Sirius Black to work if it was the last thing he did. "It would seem that your… urm… adversary is at a serious disadvantage in this competition, as it is missing the necessary visual organ's to complete the task of staring."

"It!" Sirius exclaimed stridently, tearing his gaze away from the table leg. "Do not objectify Teddy!"

Resisting the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes, not only at the fact that Sirius was engaged in a staring contest with an inanimate object but that he had given it the name Teddy, Remus decided that the best way to win this argument was with common sense. Not even the infamous Sirius Black could defy _all _reason.

"Objectify!" He countered exasperatedly. "Sirius, it _is_ an object! Actually, it's not even an object. It's part of an object!"

"What!" gasped Sirius loudly. If there was one thing Sirius Black loved, it was to cause a scene; but if there was one thing Remus Lupin couldn't stand, it was to make draw any unnecessary attention to himself, especially in a library.

"Don't you listen to him, Teddy," Sirius wailed, clinging to the table leg as though it was a large, chocolate covered marshmallow.

"Teddy!" Remus hissed, trying to keep his voice as low as possible. "Padfoot, it's a table leg! It has less cognitive thought processes than Wormtail!"

"How dare you!" Sirius said, raising his voice higher still. "Teddy is one of the world's most achieved beings. Tell me, Remus dear, could you hold up a table for over a hundred years and still be in as fine a shape as Teddy, here?"

"Sirius, while I'm sure that your logic makes perfect sense to the criminally insane and highly delusional, right now we need to work. Please," Remus continued, motioning to the large pile of books stacked up next to him, "can you finish this… umm… competition, after we finish the assignment? I'll even help you."

"Aahhh, I see your logic," Sirius lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper and stroking his imaginary beard in a pondering fashion. "Four eyes must be better than merely two! We may be onto something here, Moony."

Unable to think of an appropriate response to his friend's lunacy, Remus resolved that the best idea would be to bang his head repeatedly on the desk. When it came to a choice between his brain cells and attempting to understand Sirius's inexplicable logic, Remus was more willing to sacrifice a few crucial childhood memories for the greater good of his sanity.

"Studying hard I see," came a familiar voice through the rhythmic thudding of his skull connecting with the solid wood.

"Oh, sod off Prongs," Remus mumbled, not lifting his head from the table.

"Cheer up, Moony," said James, throwing himself into a nearby chair, placing a friendly hand comfortingly on Remus's back.

"Jim!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly. "Excellent! Look, Moony. Six eyes are even better than four. We've got him now!"

"I'm not helping you win a staring contest against a table leg!" Remus said heatedly, raising his head to glare at Sirius.

"Still can't beat Teddy, huh?" James said, shaking his head, amused.

"You've dealt with this too?" Remus queried.

"Yep. We had a potions assignment last Thursday. Though, to his credit, Padfoot did keep it up for three hours."

"How did you finally get him to work?" Remus asked, almost desperately. Sirius had just taken to marching around the table chanting "four eyes good, two eyes bad".

"I didn't." James said grinning. "I figured that if you can't beat them, join them." With that, James stood up and fell in line behind Sirius.

"Four eyes good, two eyes bad! Four eyes good, two eyes bad!"

Remus sighed, and resumed his previous position of one Remus head acquainting itself with the table that was currently in possession of a leg named 'Teddy'.

It was almost ten o'clock. The candle had been lit long ago and Sirius and James had disappeared even earlier pleading quidditch practice. Remus looked around at the huge pile of books he hadn't even made a dent in. True, he had finished his research of the Phinknit two hours prior to the lighting of the candles, but he still had the comparison of the Aughisky and the Kelpie to finish before he could retire to the warmth and comfort of his bed.

Eyes straining in the pathetic light the candle offered, Remus took down an interesting paragraph on the fresh water Kelpie. The amplified scratch of his quill told Remus that the library was all but empty, with the exception of the librarian, Ms. Frost. Never was a woman more aptly named, Remus though bitterly. From across the huge expanse of bookshelves and tables, the ancient librarian's eyes bore deeply into the back of Remus' head. For, if it weren't for him, the library would be closed by now and Frost would be able to get on with her bitter existence. As it was, Remus knew that he would be shooed out once the clock, which always ran five minutes fast, struck ten.

Remus paused for a moment and turned in his chair. The old woman had just risen from her chair and was hobbling towards his table. Turning back to his work, Remus scribbled faster until his normally clear lettering became frighteningly similar to Sirius's illegible scrawl. He finished the sentence and wrote out the page number just as Frost reached him.

"Time's up!" She rasped slamming Remus' large volume closed.

"Thank you," said Remus politely, blowing on the ink gently to ensure it wouldn't smudge when he closed his book. "Oh, and I'll take these with me." He said, motioning at a further four volumes to his left.

"Borrowing hours are between eight and ten." Frost replied, narrowing her eyes at the 16-year-old boy.

Remus looked up at the clock. It was thirty seconds past ten. Gritting his teeth he smiled at the librarian, though he was sure that he looked a beast baring his teeth at an adversary. "Of course, could I put them on hold then and pick them up in the morning?"

"That would deprive other students from the use of these books."

"I would be here at eight o'clock sharp to pick them up." Remus tried. The books had taken him hours to track down and the assignment was due tomorrow after lunch.

"I said 'no'. You will return these books to me and then you shall leave my library immediately, is that understood, young man?"

"Yes ma'am," Remus replied sullenly, placing the long sought after book in Frost's spindly fingers. The last thing he needed was to make an enemy of the old hag in his last two years at Hogwarts.

Packing his things silently and efficiently into his bag, Remus kept his eyes downcast. For he was sure that if he were to look directly at her, some kind of feral beast would rise out of him. It was a fear that ate at him daily. That he would harm another person. Take a life. He did not want to risk anger, especially this close to a full moon.

Teeth clenched, homework half finished, and bookless, Remus Lupin left the library and headed for the Gryffindor Common Room. He would just have to come back in the morning and borrow the books before breakfast. He'd have to work through lunch to finish on time, but if he could get Sirius to work they might be able to pull it off… again. Remus hated leaving work to the last minute. He needed to have time to systematically go over what he'd done, perhaps change the wording here and there, cross reference the information he'd gathered from one book with information from another source, just to make sure he go it right, re-read, alter more wording, then it would be ready to be submitted for examination by his professors.

"Copernicus" Remus snapped irritably at the fat lady.

"There's no need to be prickly about it," the fat lady replied in a huff but swinging open for him none the less.

Remus sighed and stepped through the portrait hole. Tired and irritable, he made his way up the stairs to the dormitory he shared with Sirius, James and Peter. To his surprise, Sirius and Peter were laughing heartily together and James was missing. Usually the only thing that brought Peter and Sirius together was their friendship with James, and the only thing that secured Peter's friendship with James was James' sympathy for Peter.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, seeing Remus in the doorway. "We've been waiting up for you for ages. You haven't been in the library all this time have you?"

"Actually, Sirius, I have." Remus replied coldly, crossing the room to his own four poster and setting his bag down. "Doing _our_ assignment."

"Oh, I would have come back to help you but I figured that by the time I finished Quidditch training you'd be have done it all anyway. You being the studious one and all." Sirius replied, obviously thinking that this excuse was more than adequate to pardon him from the lack of work he'd put into their assignment.

Remus breathed in and out slowly, desperately trying to keep his temper. "Sirius, because you didn't turn up, we both have to work through lunch tomorrow to make sure we can hand this damn work into Professor Kettleburn on time. So right now we need to sleep. I have to be up and in the library by eight tomorrow to get the damned books we need. Goodnight."

"Sorry, Moony, I can't do it." Sirius replied.

"Can't do what?" Remus yawned, stripping off his robe and shirt before turning and looking for his pyjamas. He was never a well-muscled boy and didn't usually put his body on show if he could help it. His chest and stomach were covered in old scars long faded into taut white streaks, souvenirs from past transformations. They did not pain him anymore, only pulled uncomfortably on occasions if he overexerted himself. He was less self conscious around his four closest friends, but was still not completely at ease around them and preferred to change from one garb to another as quickly as he could.

"I can't work through lunch tomorrow." Sirius answered, walking towards Remus, pyjama top in hand.

"Why not?" Remus asked quietly. He could feel his teeth grinding and the anger rising within him again. "What possible reason could you have?"

"I have a date," Sirius shrugged.

Remus saw red. This was the final straw. Sirius was leaving him to do all the work because he had a date with some floozy. Ignoring the offering of pyjamas, Remus let out mighty battle cry and launched himself at Sirius. Sirius gave a surprised yell of protest as he was sent flying backwards onto Remus' bed.

"Moony what in Merlin's name are you doing?" Sirius bellowed attempting to push Remus off him. But Remus's grip was too strong, his friend held him firm. Sirius didn't understand. Even when Remus was in his lycanthropic form he had never attacked him. Looking up at his friend's fierce eyes and snarling mouth, Sirius saw the beast that lived within Remus.

"A date!" Remus growled, baring his teeth to expose his canines. "You can't help me because you have a date!"

"Yes!" Sirius roared. "I have a date! What does it matter to you if I have a date?"

Remus' face abruptly fell. His lips lowered and his eyes grew wide. Releasing Sirius' arms Remus rolled off his friend and lay panting on his back. There was more to his anger than Sirius not doing his share of the work. Something he daren't contemplate. He was now all too aware that he was lying half naked on a bed with Sirius Black and his nerves were going crazy. Not only that, but Remus had attacked Sirius to get him there.

Thankfully, Remus was excused from an explanation when James came barging through the door.

"She said 'yes'!" He cried at the top of his voice, grabbing Peter and turning him round the room in a quick jig. "She said 'yes'! She said 'yes'! She said 'yes'!" He crowed again, and again. Finishing Peter off in one final twirl, James collapsed in between Sirius and his aforementioned attacker.

"Didn't you hear my boys! She said 'yes'!" He repeated looking from one friend to the next. "Isn't anyone going to congratulate me?"

Despite James' excitement, he was not completely socially inept. "Okay, what did I miss?" He asked, focusing the brunt of his attack at Sirius.

Remus stared pleadingly at Sirius, holding his gaze for only a few moments. But it was enough for Sirius to understand the full meaning

"Oh nothing worth mentioning, Prongs," he said boldly, mischievous glint back in his eye. "Moony here just though he could tackle me unawares. He's just sore he lost. Our dear Moony almost got away with it too, didn't you. If it weren't for my outstanding physique," he said standing up and whipping off his shirt. "He could have won." Sirius continued, kissing his right bicep and flashing the other three a winning smile.

"Show off," James muttered, grabbing his toothbrush and making for the bathroom. Peter shrugged, grabbed his own toothbrush and scampered out after James.

Distracted by Sirius's amusing antics, both he and Peter had failed to notice that when Sirius removed his shirt he had passed it down to Remus. He now lay silently under his covers, wrapped in the shirt that still held Sirius' warmth and scent.

Remus felt Sirius dismount his bed in a sudden shift of weight. He thought the other boy had gone to his own four poster until he felt hot breath and soft lips brush his ear. "Sleep well, Moony," he whispered softly, before padding across the room and climbing into his bed.

The sudden retraction of warmth sent Remus' head reeling. When Sirius spoke to him, Remus had felt sure that a jolt of heat had shot through his body. The feather light touch of his lips made him shudder with a delightful mixture of hot and cold. Too tired to even contemplate the meaning of all that had happened, Remus convinced himself that it was only because that time of the month was nearing. Savouring the feeling for a few moments longer, he committed the sensation to memory before rolling over and carrying it into his dreams.


	2. Chapter Two: Of Reminiscing and Revenge

_Chapter Two: Of Reminiscing and Revenge_

Remus lay awake for five minutes before his alarm went off. He knew he should have been out of bed and down to the library as early as possible to make sure he could gather the books that were lost to yesterday's frosty intervention. He just didn't want to leave his small haven of warmth and comfort. Tonight was the first of the three he would have to face this month. Though his friends were with him now, it only subdued his fear, they did not eliminate it.

Not wishing to dwell on the subject, Remus decided that he needed to think of something that could completely take his mind off the horror brought on by the rising moon. Smiling to himself, Remus' thoughts wandered to the one thing that had always been able to distract him. Sirius Black. Sirius never failed to distract Remus from anything. There was something overpowering about his presence, something that was fundamentally built into him. An amazing energy and lust for life that could not be broken.

The buzzing alarm grew louder, but Remus continued to ignore it and snuggled deeper into his comforter. He cast his thoughts back to the first time he'd ever seen Sirius in his animagus form. Neither Sirius, nor James, had told him what they were planning; just in case they hadn't succeeded they did not want to get his hopes up only to dash them to the ground. Remus had taken to solitude by the lake, as per usual on the evening before his transformations. He was habitually sitting under the large, shady oak that lay on the south bank of the extensive lake. The soothing sound of the water lapping gently against the sand calmed his soul, bringing his fear to a standstill. It was a beautiful day. The sun had just fallen below the horizon, turning the water from an orange basin to a dark blue abyss. The only other sound to be heard was the wind moving softly through the trees and long grass surrounding him.

The wind rushed forward and blew a stray lock of chestnut hair into his eyes, making him loose sight of the two butterflies he had been watching flitting across the lake playful. When he looked up again, Remus was distracted from their flight by a small rustle of grass, indicating the movement of a creature within. Remus looked closer to the shifting grass, when, not suddenly, but surprisingly, a large black dog came forward to reveal himself. The animal had walked towards him cautiously, not for his own safety, but almost as if he was trying not to spook Remus. Never before had he seen an animal act like this. The dog circled him slowly, but not in the same manner where a predator stalks prey. There was a genteel nature behind this fearsome beast. Remus was sure that if the animal were human, he would have come towards him with his hands raised to prove he meant no harm.

Instead of coming up close to him, the dog stopped five feet from Remus and his tree, waiting for the boy to approach him. Here, the dog stared at Remus, and Remus stared back. The dog cocked his head to the right, Remus followed accordingly with the mirror image. It wasn't until the dog drew back its lips to expose his gleaming white teeth that Remus saw the mischief in his smile. A Sirius smile.

"Sirius," he whispered, astounded. For there was no doubting the animal's true identity. The dog stood up and wagged his tale at the call of his name. Remus couldn't speak. He finally stood and walked towards the dog, awed at his friend's accomplishment. It was no small feat for a fifth year to successfully achieve a full transformation. Though, to be fair, Remus had involuntarily been doing exactly that for the past 12 years of his life.

Crouching down, Remus looked into the beast's eyes. The steely silver gaze was nothing new to him, nor was the wild glint they held. "Sirius," he whispered again, reaching a trembling hand towards his friend. Despite the dog's menacing appearance, his fur was warm and soft against Remus' hand. "Sirius," Remus repeated, his habitually serious face breaking into a wide smile. Sirius barked happily in reply, lunging forward and hitting Remus' chest, knocking him back.

Remus was brought back to reality by touch of his own hands running over the soft cotton of Sirius's shirt that still covered his chest. The worn blue shirt hung loosely on his slight frame, though he was sure that it would have fitted Sirius' form perfectly. He could clearly visualise the faded fabric hugging tightly across his friend's torso, yet falling away from his stomach, waiting to be pulled tight to reveal the defined abdominal muscles that lay beneath. In fact, the image of Sirius' body came to mind faster than Remus had expected. He knew the body so well, each curve a muscle made, each glossy black hair, every perfectly shaped freckle that differed so slightly from the true skin colour that one could have to be a less than an inch away to know they were there. But Remus knew.

It was dangerous knowledge. He didn't know these things about James, or Peter. It was becoming harder and harder for Remus to convince himself that these small details he took to note about Sirius meant nothing. Sighing, he rose from the bed and reluctantly took off the blue shirt. He dressed quickly in his own clothing, knowing that he should have been out of bed fifteen minutes ago. Looking at his watch, Remus saw that it was almost eight. He needed to get down to the library, find his book, borrow them, have breakfast and be in class by nine.

Taking up his bag, Remus walked across the room to Sirius's bed. He didn't want to, but he knew he should return the shirt. He drew back to curtain only to find that one Sirius Black had already vacated the bed, and had the audacity to leave him a note.

_Moony, _the note read.

_Sorry I didn't wake you. I thought you could use the extra sleep. The CoMC assignment is finished and on my nightstand. See you at breakfast,_

_SB_

_P.S: keep the shirt, it suits you._

Remus felt his cheeks burn red. Sirius had known that he would come to his bed. Not only that, but he thought that Remus looked good. Well, not in so many words, but it was an underlying message all the same.

Snapping himself out of his Sirius-daze, Remus looked to the nightstand. It was all there, just as Sirius had said it would be. _He must have been up half the night finishing this._ Remus thought to himself, flicking through the detailed work. Sirius had done everything. Even the questions Remus had skipped because he found them too difficult, and it was all for Remus' sake. Letting a smile creep onto his face again, Remus grabbed the assignment and made for the Great Hall.

Remus entered the Great Hall, and instantly spotted Sirius sitting in the middle of the Gryffindor table laughing about something with James. He looked up and upon seeing Remus flashed him a winning smile. If he had been up all last night, it didn't show. His eyes were bright and had no shadowed lines to indicate that he had lost even a minutes' rest, let alone many hours. Remus couldn't keep the goofy grin from his face. Sirius had noticed him as soon as he walked into a room. Remus Lupin never turned head. He was always the quite boy nobody paid any attention too. But Sirius noticed.

James waved to him, signalling a need to talk. Remus put his head down and walked towards them, having no doubt what the topic would be. Every morning before his transformation they would all sit and discuss what the night's adventure would be. At first they just ran through the forest, wind at their back, earth flying beneath their feet. Unfortunately, one night they went too deep into the forest and it had taken them all three hours to get back to school. Now they planned each night carefully to ensure they would not meet any one along the way, lest Remus' inner demons get the better of him, nor would they go so far that they could not return by daybreak.

"Moony," Sirius acknowledged Remus as he sat down. "You finally decided to join us."

"Just seeing what it's like to be you in the morning," Remus replied, yawning and reaching for a bowl of porridge.

"I understand, Rem," Sirius said mockingly, passing Remus the sugar before he could ask for it. "You just wanted to know what it felt like to be in the shoes of a genius, or should I say, shirt?"

Remus felt his cheeks turn red for the second time that morning. "You're so arrogant," he muttered, shovelling the sweetened oats into his mouth.

"I'm not arrogant! I just happen to know what my strengths are and have no problem admitting them. If I'm a genius why shouldn't I proclaim it?"

"Padfoot," said James, rolling his eyes, "even if you are a genius, and we're not saying you are, no one here is going to stroke your ego for you. It's inflated enough. If we all just accept that you think you're a genius can we move on?"

"Aww, come on Jim. Not even a little bit?" Sirius begged comically with puppy dog eyes.

"No, we have more important things to discuss." James said crankily.

"Hey, if there's anything more important than my ego I want it taken out and shot." Sirius grinned. "What about you, Moony? Feel like some Sirius-Ego-Stroking."

Remus choked on his breakfast and went a deeper shade of crimson. He wasn't sure if Sirius had intentionally brought unsavoury images to his mind, or if he was completely oblivious to the implications his previous statement had made. Either way, it did not help the thoughts he was trying to suppress.

"Sirius, would you live up to your name for once and start being serious?" James all but yelled.

"Wow, what crawled up your arse and died?" Sirius countered. "Last night you couldn't keep the goofy, lovesick grin from you face. Now I can't even get a rise out of you! We have a dire problem if Black can't make Potter laugh!" Remus immediately straightened his face and stared directly at his breakfast, lest Sirius see his own goofy smile.

"Yeah, well, that was before I saw Lily having a cosy chat with Snape," James replied miserably.

"Snivellus!" Sirius exclaimed gleefully. "Don't worry about it Prongs. I have it on good authority that Evans is tutoring him in potions."

"Give it a rest, Padfoot. Everyone knows that Snape's the best potions student in the school."

"Ah, but you see that's the plan," Sirius whispered in his frequently used conspiratorial tone. "He'll make everyone _think_ that he's into the Dark Arts when really… he's a splendiferous, magnificoes, slimy potions lover. See, Sirius knows all. Bow down to my awesome power!" He finished, stepping up onto the seat then the table.

"Mister Black, would you please resume your seat?" A calm voice came from the professor's table. Sirius grinned at Remus and turned to face an amused Professor Dumbledore.

"So sorry sir," he replied, dipping his head to his superior.

"That's quite alright, Mister Black. Now if you'd be so kind as to remove your foot from Mister Pettigrew's breakfast," Dumbledore said, gesturing to Sirius' left foot which was currently residing in Peter's cereal, "and see to it that you are not late for your next class. Thank you."

"Right you are, Sir." Sirius said jumping down from the table and pointing to the door. "Come along lads," he continued, putting on his best bravado voice. "Class and learning awaits. Onwards, I say!" With that, Sirius marched out of the hall.

Dumbledore looked down at Remus and smiled. "You'd best be off too, Mister Lupin. You'll need to keep him in line, Prefect." Blue eyes twinkling behind his glasses, Dumbledore turned and swept out of the Great Hall, cloak billowing behind him.

"I've got to learn how to do that!" Remus heard Snape exclaim, awestruck, from the Slytherin table.

Remus shook his head and grabbed his books. He had a terrible day ahead of him, and a terrifying transformation waiting for him at the end of it. Double potions with Slughorn, followed by a gruelling hour's torture in Dark Arts. Well, at least Sirius had finished their Care of Magical Creatures assignment. That was one less thing to stress out about.

"Come on, Moony," James called from the doors of the Great Hall. "We don't want to be late and let Evans show us up again."

"Coming," Remus replied, standing up and crossing the expansive hall.

James had run off ahead to see if he could get a few words in with Lily before class started, so Remus was left to wander down to the dungeons alone. He walked to the end of the corridor and took the left passage that led to the potions lab, only to be affronted by Sirius enthralled in a conversation with some red-headed harlot. Not only that, but the wench had dared to place her hand oh so innocently on his friend's shoulder.

Sirius caught Remus' eye and winked. If there was one thing that could turn Remus Lupin's knees to jelly it was a well executed wink. He managed a brief smile before lowering his eyes hurrying past. That must have been the girl Sirius was to meet later for lunch. A dark thought crept into his mind. Sirius had only finished the assignment so that he was at liberty to see the strumpet at lunch, not out of kindness to him. Remus felt his temperature kick up a notch. The anger boiled deep within him. He would see that Sirius Black paid for his deception. Taking a seat next to Ciara Donagan, a bright Ravenclaw girl, the clever werewolf began formulating a plan of revenge.

**_Author's Note:_** Hey all, thanks for reading and reviewing, all imput is welcome. Well, since you all took the time to review think that it's only fair that I should respond to each of you. Firstly,_lostinsidesaveme_, you were my first reviewer! Thank you. I always appreciate positive encouragement. It gives me insentive to write. _Cyraxis _thank you too. Thought I have no idea what 'bless' means I thank you anyway. _TamTikitigo _I'm glad you liked my first chapter. This one isn't as humorous as the previous one but I'm attempting a storyline and not just nonsense. _Burns!_ yay! thanks for the review my newly found rabid fangirl. I've fixed the jot-jolt spelling mistake, are you happy? Blame Son, she's supposed to be proof reading my abominable spelling. Oh yeah, thanks to Son for being my beta reader... even if you do miss crucial spelling errors :P. _Durisiema_, thanks for commenting on my so far non-existant plot line :). I'm glad you like my characterisations. Though, as Burns pointed out I do draw from other experiences. I can claim that the table leg fiasco is completely original, that was just pure insanity on my behalf. Lastly, _Icksley. _Yay! Thanks for reviewing dude. See my pathetic attempts to add colour and description into my fic! I have no issues with saying that dialogue is definately my strongest point. Ok, that's about it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's hopefully leading to some kind of a plot line.

Cheers,

EC


	3. Chapter Three: Of Friends and Foes

_Chapter Three: Of Friends and Foes_

Dark Arts had never been a strong point for Remus. He knew the basics and excelled at identifying and dispelling magical creatures, yet he could not get his head around curses. The possibility that one wizard could hate another so much that he would want to inflict serious pain upon his adversary was a concept completely foreign to the benign werewolf. Like most boys his age, he knew a few spells to impose minor discomfort on his friends. But when it came to revenge, Remus was hopeless. He tried over and over again to think of someway he could plot against Sirius, but nothing cruel enough ever seemed to come to mind.

Mentally berating himself for not being evil enough to scheme against his friend, Remus didn't even notice when his name was called by Professor Burnsworth.

"Lupin! Oh, for Merlin's sake, Mister Lupin!"

Remus was jolted back into reality by an elbow to the ribs, courtesy of one Sirius Black.

"S-sorry Sir," Remus said, jumping to his feet and glaring at the owner of the aforementioned elbow.

"Thank you for joining us, Mister Lupin. I hope I'm not wasting your valuable time but it is my job to see that you don't completely fail your NEWTs next year so if you'd kindly pay attention, I will continue with today's lesson."

"Yes Sir. Sorry Sir," Remus repeated, lowering his eyes and resuming his seat.

"No, don't sit down boy, get up! Get up!" The professor said, striding over to where Remus sat between a smug Peter and one chortling Sirius. "If you had have been listening," Burnsworth continued, grabbing the disgruntled werewolf's right arm and haling him up to the front of the class, "you would have known that today we are practising duelling, and you, Mister Lupin, have been partnered with Mister Snape who has kindly been waiting while you dilly-dally about."

Remus didn't know what to say. He had never been rebuked by a teacher before. He had seen Sirius and James weasel out of trouble a thousand times, yet all excuses swiftly evaporated from his mind leaving him bereft of any defence he could possibly offer for his actions.

"I…I…" Remus attempted, but the words wouldn't come.

"No excuses! You have wasted enough of my class time already. Now bow, boys. Good, good. Wand at the ready, Mister Snape. Not like that boy! Right arm raised, left hand lowered. Honestly. Mister Lupin, at your leisure."

Standing in plain view of the entire class, Remus watched Snape advance on him. It wasn't the manner in which the dark haired boy stalked towards him, nor was it the snarl curling at the left corner of his mouth, but his cold black eyes boring into Remus' own amber orbs that made werewolf tremble. Behind the dark stare Remus saw something else and instantly he knew that unlike himself, Severus would have no issue with disembowelling him in front of the entire sixth year.

Swallowing his fear Remus straightened his back and set his shoulders. Walking to the centre of the room to meet his opponent, Remus heard James' familiar voice drift into his mind. _If you dread failure, you are dreading something that has not yet come to pass and in turn, fail from dread. _Assuring himself that he was not to fail, Remus turned and faced his dread. It was waiting for him, lip curled, wand poised.

Remus reached for his own wand in its usual place of residence, in his left robe pocket, only to hear Sirius pipe up from the back of the room, "Professor. Remus may have some difficulty completing this task."

Remus turned his fierce gold eyes from Snape to Sirius. The bastard was grinning at him. All previous confidence lost, he could only glare at his cocky friend. So, Sirius didn't think he was up to the task of duelling with Snape, did he? Remus felt his temperature begin to rise again. Sirius could make his blood boil as no other could.

"And why is that Mister Black?" Professor Burnsworth asked exasperatedly. It seemed Sirius was trying more than Remus' patience today.

"He appears to be missing a key item for the task of duelling," Sirius said smugly raising an all too familiar nine inch maple wand with a unicorn tail hair core.

Remus felt his own hand grope at his left thigh in desperate attempt to find the wand he knew Sirius held firmly in his right hand. How could he have been so stupid as to forget his wand in a duel? He might as well have turned up to a Quidditch match without a broomstick. Feeling the humiliation seep through his body, drowning his anger, Remus turned his eyes to his professor. Burnsworth shook his head at the young werewolf before indicating to Sirius that he may return the wand to its owner.

Sirius walked up to the front of the class, cool as you please. _Smarmy git._ Remus thought bitterly as Sirius closed the distance between them. Extending he right arm, Sirius handed Remus his wand, confident grin in place. Yet just before Sirius turned back to take his seat, he pulled Remus close and whispered softly in his ear. Remus felt the words tingle down his neck and down to his stomach, pouring heat into every part of his body and making his skin prickle with delight.

"Dread to fail, fail from dread. Good luck Moony."

Remus watch the dark haired boy return to his seat before tearing his eyes back to face his opponent who was waiting impatiently for him at the other end of the classroom, wand poised, eyes sharp.

Raising his right arm, Remus felt his heart beat kick up a notch. He needed to relax. _Deep breaths_, he told himself. _Ok. Calm down. It's only a class room duel. Relax. All you have to do is get his wand and then he can't attack you. Everything's good. Wow Sirius' hair looks good like that. So glossy and black and ruffled… Oh, shut up you silly ponce! Just get the wand. Disarming spell. Disarming spell._ _Expelliarmus! Expelliarmus! _

"One, two…"

"Expelliarmus!"

The entire class watched at Remus Lupin shot Severus Snape spinning through the air only to come a halt on when his buttock collided, rather loudly, with the stone floor. Remus heard cheers go up from the Gryffindors while the Slytherin's shot him death glares from afar. Sirius and James had jumped up onto their desk singing 'Remus, Remus just look around, you've been Snape's slimy arse right into the ground.' accompanied by a rather hysterical jig involving many elaborate spin and complex hand gestures.

Feeling suddenly empowered, Remus ran forward and kicked a bewildered Snape's wand from the clutches of his right hand.

"Yield." Remus said softly, bearing down on his fallen opponent.

Snape shook his head and slowly raised his humiliated body from the ground. "No," he sneered at the triumphant werewolf. "He cheated!" Snape called, turning to Professor Burnsworth for support.

"That's bollocks!" Sirius yelled jumping down from the desk and running to Remus' side.

"Absolute bollocks!" Agreered James, joining Sirius by Remus' side.

"Don't be a sore loser Snivellus." Sirius spat, advancing on Snape.

"Please Black," Snape snorted, meeting Sirius' stony glare. "Do you really thing that your benign friend here could possibly defeat me in a duel? He cheated."

"That is a very serious accusation Mister Snape," Burnsworth replied, coming forward from the crowd. "How do you believe that Mister Lupin has cheated you?"

"He began before the count of three." Snape replied, completely sure of himself. Remus tried to think back to the beginning of the duel. Had he been so jittery that he had cast before he was permitted? He'd never cheated before in his life. Not even when the Marauders had all sat down for a drunken game of strip poker and there was the possibility of Sirius having to get very, very naked. But what if he had cheated? Looking to Sirius for reassurance, Remus found only pity in his dark grey eyes. So he had cheated. Sirius' pity was well deserved, for Snape now had the upper hand and there was not telling what would happen.

"As is stated by the rules of sportsman like duelling, I have the right to demand a re-duel. A right I choose to invoke and one that my adversary must comply with."

"Mister Snape, this a classroom duel, I hardly believe that--"

"All the same Sir, it is my right." Snape replied quickly, narrowing his eyes and smirking at Sirius.

"Fine!" Burnsworth said exasperatedly throwing up his hands in defeat. "You and Mister Lupin shall have a re-duel. But here are my terms, Mister Snape. You shall both practise together. I want a rehearsed duel to be performed for the rest of the class. It must display all the normal attributes of a normal duel, and the ending must be an unexpected for all involved. Congratulations boys, you two are duelling partners. Enjoy the next week."

_Author'sNote:_ Hey hey! Sorry it's taken me so long to get this one up. I've been writing limericks with my cousin, cerasi1 under our newpen nameof Cirinde Nenharma. Check it out if you're in the mood for some crazy humour. Also, I apologise for there being minimal SiriusRemus interaction, and a serious lack of Remus revenge. Many people commented on how much they were looking forward to it, but don't worry. It'll come, it'll come. If there are any spelling error or sentences that don't make sense, I apologise again. My beta reader is detained and it's probably better that I get this up before LeoDraconis had my head. Wow, that was a lot of apologising. That's about it from me. Thanks to all who have reviewed so far, I love getting feedback. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter, _Of Werewolves and Wantons, _up soon. Should be a good on with lots of SiriusRemus tension.

Cheers,

EC


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